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  • Kristy Forbes

Making amends

Updated: Feb 25


Making Amends ****************

I started with stillness. . Just ‘being’ beside her. . I took a deep breath and I sighed. . Choked back my tears . I looked at the floor . And I said to her . “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. I have been trying to help you and I thought what I was doing was right. I thought that all the places I took you, all the people we saw were right for you.” . She stopped playing. . She started rocking. . “Mummy is going to listen to you. I’m going to pay attention to you, in all the ways I can and I’m going to learn from you.” . She smiled. . “You are beautiful and so, so smart, and so funny. Thank you for having me be your Mum.” . She walked over and sat on me. . “I see you. I see who you are.” . With her back to me, she leaned back against me and we rested in each other. . It took another three years. . Three years for her to recover from us speaking of her in her presence . From us arguing late at night . Burnt out . Scared . Given a doom and gloom narrative for our little girl. . Believing all we were told. . Giving away our power to strangers who believed they knew her best, knew what she needed. . She knows what she needs. . And she tells us. . Not with words. . In many other ways. . She is patient, kind, unrelentingly forgiving. . She is resilient. . There is no language to validate and see her. . And how I feel, what I feel, who she has shown me I am. . And who I can be. . We rest in each other. . Pure loving energy. . Unspoken connection. . We connect through repetition. . Drum beats on our bodies. . Music. . Rhythm . Rocking . Presence . Stillness . Faith . Hope . Humour. . And oh that light. . She communicates with me through connection . And I amplify her story . The lessons she has for all of us . Within her . I amplify her message . To the world . We connect . Unconventionally . Beautifully . Effortlessly . Through stillness . Intuition . She reads me, my energy . And I, hers . Reading the energies of others . Is her superpower. . I feel my heart expand . Inside of my chest . And out . Our children . Are pure love . Knowledge . Wisdom . With so many offerings . A new way . A new path . A new hope . She has shown me . To step outside of our current paradigm . To let go of . Everything I think I know . About autism. . About being human. . Our children . Are beckoning us . To step into the light . To let go . To rest in love. . To take a leap . In faith . And to return . To love. . To peace. . To truth. . . . . Kristy Forbes Autism & Neurodiversity Support Specialist inTune Pathways


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